Hectic Day!

Disclaimer - Personal post


Today has been so incredibly stressful. I casually send off an email to see If I need to take these 2 classes before I start the credential program. TURNS OUT I DO. AND CLASSES START MONDAY.
so I race around campus, having people tell me different things, find out I need to apply to graduate school and go through them. I applied and am waiting to find out if I can register for classes, so I can get into the credential program.
Then I go to my work and tell my boss that I can't work mondays. He is pretty fine with this, but now my hours are down to 10/16 everyother week. So I somehow need to pay my bills working minimum wage that amount of hours, and prepare myself for taking two 500 level classes. alskdjfa;lkwejrwlkje. I don't even know if I am going to get into the program, if I am going to get into these classes, what the hell my life is going to be in 3 months, nonetheless if I have the heart and the patience and the everything to become a teacher. The good thing that has come out of this is that my dad agreed to pay for it. no questions asked. I feel so guilty about this. Like I am abusing his generosity. I didn't take my undergrad seriously and my GPA reflects this, but I know that i need some further education if I want to do anything with my life. I AM gratefully, incredibly grateful that I have been blessed with a parent that CAN and WILL financially support me when I am unable. I just feel uneasy about it because I hate being one of those girls that runs to Daddy's credit card. I talked to my mom about it (they are divorced) and I can tell that she's not happy about it. She wants me to be financially independent and try and do this on my own. I have a feeling that this is mainly because she is unable to help more than a few bucks here and there. ARGH.

I'm drinking a beer and am calming down. I keep repeating, "Whatever happens will happen, everything is out of my hands at this very moment so stop stressing" to myself, and it seems to be working a little. I just hate having everything so up in the air. And I need a job. and some money. I was gonna buy a handgun with my tax return. I've been thinking about it for awhile, and I really think it would be a good thing for me to have, but now that money needs to be put towards rent. I'm working 20 hoursish less a month, which is a good chunck of change. gah. STOP IT. okay. I think I need to go take a shower. That always makes me feel better.